The Bath

The baby was clean, dinner was over. Still some time before fireworks. What I wanted more than anything was to just take a few minutes for myself, a little time to collect my thoughts, relax. What I wanted more than anything was a bath. Part of this stems from the fact that lately, showers are just too exhausting. Have I become so lazy that the act of standing up while bathing is just too much to deal with? Probably. That would be in keeping with the way things have been going in general. Still, there's just something about the promise of a nice long soak. I don't know, maybe it's a girl thing.

So first I have to wade through the Frog Pod carnage. Although we have two other bathrooms in our house, there is only one bathtub to which Lucas and I currently share priviledges. Anyway, our adorable green plastic storage frog came unstuck from the wall earlier in the week, so the baby's bath toys (along with pieces of said frog) are scattered in a little trail from the door to the tub. Once I clear the way, I start the water, add some bubbles. A little vanila, some lavender. I turn on the radio. Excellent--CD 105 is running a Stones fantasy concert. I strip--physically I am still in the honeymoon phase of my pregnancy. My belly is only slightly rounder, my hips, other curves. Into the water I sink.

The water feels wonderful until I start to wonder if it feels too good. Is it too hot? I remember reading last pregnancy that one shouldn't overheat during the first trimester. Neural tube defects or something equally menacing. Oh excellent--I'm baking the baby. So I add some cold water. The Stones break into the first riffs of "Honkey Tonk Woman."

When Ron & I first started dating we were playing Trivial Pursuit when I got a flawed music question based on the lyrics to this song. Now don't get me wrong, there are many areas of Trivial Pursuit at which I suck, but do not--I repeat, do not--mess with me when it comes to music trivia, especially something as basic as Stones lyrics. Please. The question was: "What did the Rolling Stones' Honkey Tonk Woman do after she blew her nose?" The given answer was, "She blew her mind," which of course I missed, because IT ISN'T THE RIGHT ANSWER. In fact, the question isn't even the right question. The actual lyric is, "She blew my nose and then she blew my mind." ie: "We did a little coke & then she gave me a bj." PLEASE. The way they have it doesn't make any sense. I mean, I don't think that's even physically possible.

But I digress. So, I'm in the bath. Relaxing. And really, between Mick Jagger and the bathroom fan, I can barely hear the one-year-old stomping up and down the hallway, pausing only occasionally to bang on the door. So, Honkey Tonk Woman and neural tube defects, and then the Greek salad. The hot bath thing reminds me of other pregnancy rules I'm breaking. I mean, I haven't given up caffeine entirely. The morning coffee is gone, but it has been replaced by the somewhat ambrosial, somewhat caffeinated Starbuck's Frappuccino. Gimme a break, I get the stupid things half price at Barnes & Noble. As I had to remind Ron, "It's not crack, Honey."

But the Greek salad. Today for lunch, I committed yet another no-no...I ate a Greek salad. In case you're having trouble following my hormonal logic, Greek salads contain feta cheese, which falls into one of the many categories of Foods You Should Avoid During Pregnancy. More precisely, "unpasteurized soft and blue-veined cheeses." Boo! This is a huge deal in my little world because cheese, in general, is my very favorite part of the food pyramid. I love the Dairy Council (and yes, I really do have a favorite part of the food pyramid). I love cheese, and this crap about no gorgonzola, brie, feta, or bleu...well what the hell, really? And now what if I've caught some kind of cheese disease from my salad?

So the bath. It was relaxing. I mean, once I stopped thinking about that stupid Trivial Pursuit card. And the hot water. And the effects of caffeine. And potential food-borne illnesses. After that, well...I got the hell out.