My office is a mess. I mean it seriously looks like I need to be on "Clean Sweep" or something. I started another round of sort & toss the other day only to arrive at a disturbing realization, the root cause of the clutter--I am a huge emotional pack rat.
Yes, it's true that as an only child I have attachment issues, abandonment issues, separation anxiety. I know this, it comes with the territory. If you're my friend, you also know this, and chances are I've creeped you out because of it on at least one occasion (sorry about that). In addition I have, generally, a shitty memory and a huge fear of forgetting. People, places, smells, tastes. On the other hand, I also possess a keen ability for observing and remembering the lasts of things. The last time we spoke, saw each other, and so on. If you've ever given me a gift, be sure that I still have it. I never throw away letters. I always save your last email. I mean what if I never hear from you again? What if those were your last words and I forget them? What then? Well, for starters I would have a cleaner office, my computer would run faster, and I'd be able to find my desk. For starters.
Anyway, as I began to sort/toss (read: sort/grow misty with nostalgia, refile), I kept coming across things that weren't mine. So, dear friends, I would like to take this opportunity to offer an official apology. Over the years I seem to have amassed a large collection of permanently borrowed (stolen?) merchandise. And some of it belongs to you (Think of this as one of those "Unclaimed Property" websites. You could have millions waiting!). So far I have come across the following:
Lo...I still have your Allison Kraus cd and that black shirt with the cityscape on it. You can come get them anytime. Better yet, let me deliver them.
Amy...The necklace & earrings I borrowed from you in North Carolina are here in a little box on the dresser. I should have returned them when you flew in last summer, but I forgot.
Money...I finally found your Pearl Jam cd. You were right, some of the tracks are worn out. Still, I'll get it back to you in May.
D...I still have The Proletarian Imagination, so to speak. Think I tried to return it once before you fled the country, but no luck. We just sit here and drink coffee for hours. Well, I mostly drink. It mostly sits.
Anthony Carlos...That copy of The Basketball Diaries you handed me when we cleaned out your closet in Terra Haute...was I sposed to keep that? It's still here with the Big Mail.
Laura...The cover tore off Fear of Flying in the mid-90s, so maybe I should just keep it? Let me know. By the way, Erica Jong has a new memoir out. Have you read it?
Alex...For graduation I got you a rubber duck dressed up in a crown. It is still here in the box, but I thought you should know. It's good to be king.
Tommy...I still have the James Taylor's Greatest Hits cd I borrowed during the Terrible Summer. Thank you for everything. Thank you.
Walter...Two years ago at a yard sale I spent a nickel on a homemade mug that says "Walt." I never sent it, but I must tell you it makes a handy pencil cup. Really, I had hoped for one that says "Garv" instead.
At any rate, that's the current body count. If you suspect that something you're missing might have found its way into my office, please send a brief description and I'll add it to the milk carton. But hey, I shouldn't feel that bad, right? I mean, it's not like I stole locks of your hair or something. At least I haven't found any yet. Maybe when I get to the filing cabinet...
29 March 2006
27 March 2006
Innauguration Day.
Alright. Lucas is asleep. Dr. Phil isn't on for another fifteen minutes. And I appear to have finally gotten my shit together enough to start a blog.
When I hear from friends after a long time away (especially grad school friends, God bless 'em), the conversation inevitably turns to my writing. More specifically, "So, how's your writing going?" Variations on this include, but are not limited to, "What have you been writing?" "Written anything good lately?" and my personal favorite, "You should send me something new you've written." I usually "forget" to respond to the latter, as the only piece I have that qualifies as "new" is a list of instructions for the babysitter.
But I digress.
Since Lucas was born last June I haven't written anything other than email (and some of you will likely argue I haven't even written that [Sorry.]). The first few days we were home from the hospital I had illusions of grandeur that I would rise an hour before my child each day and sit at the computer with my coffee merrily typing away. Glorious essays on motherhood. Poems to lilt off the tongue. Actually, I did get up one day that first week and write a kind of a poem, although I was so strung-out from sitting up all night watching the baby breathe that the poem, as it were, doesn't make much sense.
Anywho. My intention with this blog is threefold:
Fold numero uno--To create some degree of structure and discipline for my writing life. As I currently have no writing life, I already am showing marked improvement. Gold star.
Fold two--To keep in better touch with friends and family. Yes, I realize in this sense it's like reading a mass-produced Christmas letter, but I've gotta start somewhere at this point. Plus, my 2005 Christmas letters are still sitting here on the desk waiting to be sent out, and seeing as how it's March 2006 already, it doesn't look promising.
And finally--I don't remember what my third point was. I'm sure I had a third point, however, and that it was phenomenal. That said, now my dryer is going off and Lucas stirs in his crib. And...how excellent...the cat is trying to pop a squat in my office.
When I hear from friends after a long time away (especially grad school friends, God bless 'em), the conversation inevitably turns to my writing. More specifically, "So, how's your writing going?" Variations on this include, but are not limited to, "What have you been writing?" "Written anything good lately?" and my personal favorite, "You should send me something new you've written." I usually "forget" to respond to the latter, as the only piece I have that qualifies as "new" is a list of instructions for the babysitter.
But I digress.
Since Lucas was born last June I haven't written anything other than email (and some of you will likely argue I haven't even written that [Sorry.]). The first few days we were home from the hospital I had illusions of grandeur that I would rise an hour before my child each day and sit at the computer with my coffee merrily typing away. Glorious essays on motherhood. Poems to lilt off the tongue. Actually, I did get up one day that first week and write a kind of a poem, although I was so strung-out from sitting up all night watching the baby breathe that the poem, as it were, doesn't make much sense.
Anywho. My intention with this blog is threefold:
Fold numero uno--To create some degree of structure and discipline for my writing life. As I currently have no writing life, I already am showing marked improvement. Gold star.
Fold two--To keep in better touch with friends and family. Yes, I realize in this sense it's like reading a mass-produced Christmas letter, but I've gotta start somewhere at this point. Plus, my 2005 Christmas letters are still sitting here on the desk waiting to be sent out, and seeing as how it's March 2006 already, it doesn't look promising.
And finally--I don't remember what my third point was. I'm sure I had a third point, however, and that it was phenomenal. That said, now my dryer is going off and Lucas stirs in his crib. And...how excellent...the cat is trying to pop a squat in my office.
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